The New Year will be upon us next week and for most of us, it can’t come quickly enough.  This past year has been a 12-month series of tests, trials, tribulations and complete SUCK.

The Universe pushed us in all kinds of ways forcing us to take a good, hard look at ourselves. It highlighted what wasn’t working reminding us that change is an inevitable part of life.  Some resisted the change and others didn’t.  Those who didn’t resist survived. Those who couldn’t face the change struggled or (sadly) died.

On my Facebook newsfeed, I posed the question “All I want for Christmas is…?” to see what people are really desiring in their lives.  I was genuinely surprised that just about everyone answered, “I just want to be happy.”  It’s a general, stock answer, but it has many implications. Happiness is different for everyone based on our own expectations.  But it startled me that so many are not achieving it.

It’s a general, stock answer but it has many implications. Happiness is different for everyone based on personal expectations but it startled me that so many are not achieving it.

Aside from our first world problems, we are in this really great time where the world is plastic. We can pick and choose our belief systems, our technology, where we live and our comforts.  Even better, we can change our minds and create something new that falls more line with who we are at any given moment.  It’s amazing how anything you want is literally at your fingertips – whether it’s a new tablet or an abundance meditation.  All you have to do is have the willingness to search it out.

So, why are so many people so unhappy?

What I came up with can be broken down to one simple hyphenated word:

Self-sabotage.

Right now, I see a lot of people who are inspired by the newness of the coming year.  We get excited about being able to push the metaphorical shiny, red “reset” button and reclaim all the self-projects that went on the back-burner last year.  We write our list of resolutions with a false sense of hope and optimism.  Then three months later the list ends up in the trash and we are left with the same old patterns as before.

So, why do we make the list if we truly aren’t going to follow through?

I don’t think it starts out that way. I really, truly believe that we all have a desire to be happy.  We really do want those resolutions to stick.

But are we ready to do the work?

That is the big challenge.

Because change IS really hard work.

All of the patterns we have in our life are there for a reason.  There is always some kind of reward or validation for everything we do.  Even if it’s negative validation it still hinges on a belief system that was created by life experiences.

We truly are what we believe.

Change takes a lot of mindfulness and awareness.  We have to micromanage every thought, every feeling, every action that we take throughout the day.  It can be an exhausting process especially when there are other obligations in life. Who wants to be mindful when you are trying to get a toddler to eat their peas? Or when a boyfriend/husband is trying your patience? Or when the teenager is complaining about doing dishes? Or a word deadline is looming?

Who wants to be mindful when you are trying to get a toddler to eat their peas? Or when a boyfriend/husband is trying your patience? Or when the teenager is complaining about doing dishes? Or a word deadline is looming?

Life likes to throw curve balls especially when we are doing our best to change our patterns.  It can be tedious challenge of dealing with old shit that comes up. Stuff you thought you were done with but rears its ugly head in a whole, new un-fun way.

However, with every lesson, there is a moment of letting go and a willingness to understand.

When we can finally get through the bullshit what’s on the other side is limitless.  It’s a whole new world that has never been explored.  It’s a beautiful place where you work with the ebb and flow of the Universe.  It’s a place where worry is replaced with faith, where fear is replaced with love, and complacency is replaced by true happiness.

So, what is holding you back?

Are you afraid to be happy?

I know I was for a really long time.  I felt I didn’t deserve it. In my pessimistic view, the world had brought me hardships because I was a bad person.

It took me a long time to realize that I was projecting other people’s unworthiness on myself; that I was willfully co-creating the upheaval and sadness in my life to validate my unworthiness.  It angered me and I built a giant wall around myself and stopped letting people in. I distanced myself from the problem.

That really didn’t solve the anything, though. I still sabotaged my life and couldn’t seem to change the patterns.  I resisted.  I cried.  I yelled.  I blamed other people.  It took me a few years to actually realize that the only person keeping me unhappy was, well…me.

I have to tell you that did not sit well with me at all.  Not even a little bit.  I had to ingest a big dose of accountability and it tasted like evil.  But I did it anyway and the light started to break through the cracks of my veneer.  I stopped blaming people and I started to get real with myself.

I realized that I am the only creator of my destiny.  So, I had better get my shit together and start creating a life with value and worthiness.  It was the hardest lesson I ever learned, but it has been totally worth it.

I love the person I am today. I love my job. I love my clients. I love my son and my fiancé. I honestly can say that I love my life.

I am not perfect.  I have setbacks.  I get impatient.  I have goals that I want now, now, now.  I am still my own worst enemy at times.  It’s a constant evolution, though.  It’s either I stay mindful or fall back into a world of unworthiness and chaos.

Being happy really is a choice.

We can live in the fear or we can live in the now.  We can hold on to every little thing that goes wrong. Or we can choose to accept it and go with the flow.  We can learn the lesson or we can carry around the baggage like a spare tire.

It’s funny.  Once we stop focusing on what is wrong in our lives and start focusing on what is right everything shifts.  Suddenly, we are able to see the opportunities.  It opens us up and expands our energies so that we are able to manifest more.  We, inevitably, get what we want.

We, inevitably, learn that being happy is a right that we can afford.

So, this year, instead of writing a list of things you know deep down you aren’t going to do, be gentle with yourself.  See what you already have and be grateful for it.  Set goals that are realistic and make sense.  Don’t self-sabotage and pretend that you are going to suddenly change your patterns.  Instead, make a pact with yourself that you are going to do the work. That you are going to adjust and revise and accept.

Or be really honest with yourself and accept that you aren’t going to change one thing. You are going to accept what comes to you and stop being pissed off about it.

Heather Woodward helps psychics, empaths and witchy entrepreneurs level up their natural psychic gifts so they have the confidence to charge what they’re worth. Get started with this  free training to help you get in touch with your natural psychic abilities: Week Long Intuition Boot Camp